Ok so 47 may be an exaggeration, but it’s how I feel. My blog caption should probably be changed from ‘to India’ to ‘to the hospital’. Breaking my hand, wrist, and now kidney stones definitely rank this trip up there for worst vacation ever.
*If you’re new here, I have previously been to India 5 times with absolutely no issues so please don’t let this deter you from coming. This is just my diary*
But enough of my whining about how I haven’t gotten to do any volunteer work or have street food or see the Taj Mahal yet.
Here is the fun story about my most recent hospital visit 🎉
One more disclaimer, I proofread this once but haven’t edited it down much more than that because I’m not feeling super comfortable at the moment.
I was sitting on the porch filming a video for my YouTube. I felt totally fine.
Then suddenly from the back of my right side, wrapping around to the front and down to where I pee, I had the worst stabbing sensation. I sat there for a minute thinking maybe one of the fire ants had gotten me and it would subside after a minute.
But it didn’t.
I hobbled inside and laid on the bed. Massaging the area didn’t help, applying ayurvedic balm didn’t help, taking 3 tylenols didn’t help. I know poisonous animals live around here, did one bite me? When I started to vomit, I was certain of it.
Luckily I wasn’t alone and my friend asked if we should go to the hospital. I said yes and we called the famous Aneesh.
Arriving back to St Augustines, I was doing that shivering thing that you do when you’re in excruciating pain. I couldn’t stand up straight so I leaned on the wall, hoping that it would hold me up as I carried a bag of my own vomit.
The nurses took pity on me and I was quickly escorted back to the casualty wing (ER). The doctor recognized me from the last 2 times and asked how my hand and wrist are doing. We’re basically long lost college buddies now.
She jotted down some notes about my symptoms then walked away. A nun told me to lay on the bed if I’d rather, but an elderly man accompanying his wife was sitting there so I politely rejected her offer and stayed in the chair.
I asked if she had anything for pain and she said I had to wait for the doctor. I continued shivering and my vomiting resumed. (Really sorry if this is too graphic, just telling it like it was)
I was approved for injections and watched carefully that they opened fresh syringes. They did. She put one in my left forearm and said that it was a test dose to see if I had an allergy. The skin bubbled up slightly and she drew a circle around it. After 5 minutes, I had passed the test and she injected me again on the back of my left hand.
I was then instructed that I must lay in the bed so I silently apologized to the elderly man and went. She put a blanket over me and said to pull my pants down. I then received an injection in my right hip. The pain didn’t subside as she massaged it in and my shiver-writhing continued. She then did the same to the left side and I woke up drooling 😂🙈 I don’t think I was out for more than a couple of minutes, but I didn’t have any pain. Unsure of whether there was any sleep aid in the injection or it was just the exhaustion of such strong pain for almost 2 hours that put me out, I was just glad to be able to sit up straight.
I was told that I needed to go to the bigger hospital to have a proper exam to see the size and severity of kidney stones. Yay for not being poisoned! Thanks to my 4 injections, I was feeling great and opted to go immediately because I wasn’t sure if I could handle the long and bumpy ride after they wore off.
Arriving after 7pm was not ideal because the guy who does the exam left at 6. I felt a little better, so I threw my bag of vomit into the bunny trash can and continued inside.
A young doctor came. Those black rectangle glasses that were super popular in the US 10 years ago, an orange button up shirt that perfectly complemented the flowers on the curtain, and pointy leather shoes – he walked up like a cowboy. He explained everything going on and that I will probably need to be admitted since the other doctor was gone. I told him I really don’t want to stay here so he called him urgently.
An hour later the exam doctor came. I was put in a wheelchair (Was it totally necessary? I don’t know. But was it fun? Definitely) and taken to the dungeon. Exam doctor, cowboy doctor, and nurse were waiting for me in the room. Exam doctor asked if I’d ever had an ultrasound, no. He put the cold jelly on the head and pushed way harder than I had been anticipating. Like he was excavating my ribs. He told me I was too fat to get a good reading of my stomach and told me to roll over and see if my back had a better view. I’m only like 135, but thanks for your rudeness 👌
Cowboy doctor was pretty silent during everything. Exam doctor scolded the nurse because my bladder was empty so he couldn’t get a clear reading. “Don’t call me again in the middle of the night for an empty bladder!” She apologized and ducked her head. While cowboy and exam were discussing what to do, she asked me where I was from and we engaged in some small talk.
Exam doctor declared that it was over and that I had to stay the night and get another exam tomorrow, with a full bladder he emphasized. I cursed my luck and the nurse looked at me with pity in her eyes.
She then pulled down my shirt. Without wiping off the goop. Eww. She luckily realized the mistake and gave me some napkins before it was too late.
Wheelchair guy was outside the door and he took me up to my room. My friend was there the entire time translating some stuff for me here and there which is the only reason I wasn’t having an anxiety attack on top of everything else.
A nurse came in with a shopping list. My friend was sent to the pharmacy to fetch all of the items.
Syringes, IV, hanging bags of clear liquids, and more.
A group of two nurses came in soon after to administer my IV. Since the previous injection took the most prominent vein on the back of my left hand and my right hand was covered with the splint from breaking my hand and wrist, they were flicking and slapping my hand to find another. They decided to put it at the base of my thumb. Bad choice.
It was apparent how painful that was, so they took it out and put it back in. Oh hell no. That’s like rule 1 for sanitation. She then took it out again and started looking for another spot. I expressed concern for the sterility and she rolled her eyes then went off to find another.
The final spot was at the base of my ring finger.
She put a sticker with the date then put some cold liquid into it. I was given a pee cup which was the most difficult experience of my life.
Again graphic, but imagine your right hand and wrist are broken and in a splint. Your left hand has an open wound that you don’t want urine in. Which hand holds the cup?? I removed my splint and decided that that was the best bet.
She came in later to collect it and it hooked me up to the hanging drip.
Sedation mixed pain medications are a girl’s best friend and I drifted off. A loud banging at about 6 woke me up. Apparently I wasn’t supposed to lock the door because my drip ran out and they were angry. They had tried knocking a few times in the night but when you mix my already usually heavy slumber with sleep aids.. good luck.
They changed it and asked how my pain was. I didn’t have any, but she gave me another injection. It took her a minute and she also scolded me for being fat 😒again, I’m only like 135 😤 My friend went downstairs to get food. Instead of planned hospital meals, there were just restaurants downstairs.
I had 4 plain chapathi (basically Indian tortillas) and a liter of water. I wasn’t sure when exam doctor was coming, but I was determined for my bladder to be full.
Waiting waiting waiting. Three hours later, there he was. No ultrasound now, full on CT scan. I really enjoyed these wheelchair rides though 😂
The nurse led me into a closet where I was told to remove my shirt and bra. She didn’t turn around so I had to. When I turned back around covering up as much as I could, she held open the gown and stared at my boobs like an absolute creep. Awko taco.
I was positioned onto the bed and she put a blanket over my lowered jeans. I’m just glad I had worn boxers since she didn’t care as much about my modesty as I did. One perk of being past due on laundry.
They pulled the bed in and out of the circle. Haven’t ever had anything similar before so no comparisons to the American version, I’m sure it isn’t much different though. A pre-recorded British man told me to inhale deeply and hold it.
Finally it was over and I was able to redress. Wheelchair guy was waiting for me and he took me back to my room. More waiting but my friend surprised me with Oreos so it was fine 😂
My phone was on ultra power saving mode and I was afraid to be too happy about the pain being gone. My constant worry was when it would come back and when my phone would die.
A few hours later, exam doctor and cowboy doctor came. They explained that I have an 8mm length kidney stone presently in my ureter.
I asked if I could please leave. Cowboy and I were on pretty good terms. He knew that I was a bit afraid of hospitals and had been pretty helpful in explaining things so far. A nod from him and exam doctor said it was fine. Yaaas.
After more waiting, a nurse came to remove my IV and gave me 5 bags of medicine.
I was free! It was finally over! Except that I still have to pass it (or them) and come back next week to check the status.
We called Aneesh and he came to save me from this hospital prison.
Right now I’m just so thankful that I’m not alone, that I thought to write English captions on the bags, that I don’t have an IV, that I have travel insurance, and that I didn’t die.
Now to start the fun process of submitting all of this to insurance. Wish me luck! 🍀